19th July

I’ve had calls from friends in tears. I’ve had floods of emails. It is good to be so well thought of.

I was invited to the end of term department meal yesterday evening. Julie whom I worked with really closely at Carisbrooke rang me and we chatted for a while. I asked if she could give me a lift and she arranged for Shaun to pick us both up and drive us to Rookley. Interestingly Julie confessed later in the evening she had been scared of phoning me but once we were talking she was relieved she’d taken the plunge. I totally understood. In some ways you imagine someone with this kind of news will be different somehow and you don’t know what to say. Well I am just the same me underneath and I spent the whole evening laughing and joking with colleagues. I wasn’t afraid to mention how I feel about it all and I was open and frank with them, but none of that detracted from the good time. I think that everyone was really pleased to see me. Even staff I hadn’t met previously recognised me from photos and told me they had heard so much about me. I was reassured that not a day goes by when they don’t miss me! Miss the way that I always listen to them and help them find solutions to their problems without being prescriptive about it. I think my head was so big by the end of the evening that it wouldn’t fit in the doorway.

It was hard to find clothes to fit. All the trousers that just about do up round my swollen abdomen are so baggy in the leg they make me look like a clown. But I sat down all evening so I don’t think anyone noticed. At least there were a lot of colleagues keen to buy my book! That should help the sales along somewhat.

Yes I have my moments of upset, but I am trying hard not to waste the time I have.