Post 73: January 8th

Though I am off the tablets this week, recovery is painfully slow and laborious. It is good to have a returning appetite, but my mouth and hands are still sore, my nose keeps bleeding, and my skin continues to flake copiously. I need to accept all these changes to my body, but it is difficult.
I have been for a walk across the Duver; I would have liked a brisker pace, but I just couldn’t find the energy.
Taking Rachel’s advice and with Daniel’s help I am learning Spanish. He has given me the lessons that he used and they really are well put together. It makes language learning fun and very straightforward. Hopefully Chris and I will visit his family in Lanzarote when my treatment is over and I will be able to try it out. Muy bien! I will try not to make the same mistake as my friend Dianne, who got a little muddled between her French and Spanish and asked for what she thought was a slice of cake but it turned out to be a slice of cat (gato).

The Macmillan nurse, Annie visits this afternoon. She will support my application for early retirement and help with any benefit problems. She has also promised to come round after my operation.
She explains the significance of the cancer markers; they don’t necessarily show whether or not the tumours have shrunk, but how active or inactive they are. The fact that the liver tests show an improvement is also promising. It is good to speak to someone who understands all aspects of this disease.
I read something online which really resonates with me.

courage doesn't always roar.
sometimes courage is the
quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow."

- mary anne radmacher*

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