Last night I had a very strange dream. I decided to stop writing my Blog. Instead of it just ending, someone else was going to take it over. That seemed to wrong to me. I wasn’t at all happy with this outcome and I felt a huge sense of loss, akin to a bereavement even though it was my decision. Such strong emotions; for once I am not sure I understand the dream entirely, if at all! When I speak to Rachel on the phone we talk it through and both hit upon the meaning simultaneously. It is to do with my job. I am choosing to give it up, but it is nevertheless a wrench to stop working with needy students and I miss the close relationship with valued colleagues. Retirement is will be a big adjustment for me and comes on top of learning to live with cancer.
I go for a walk and buy a bottle of water, but despite being very thirsty I am unable to open it! My hands are not strong enough. I feel silly and helpless asking a complete stranger for help, but in the end my thirst gets the better of me and I ask a dog walker if she will open it. She is happy to oblige and tells me that her Gran can never open medicine bottles because of the child-proof tops that are virtually adult-proof too! Now I don’ t feel so bad!
Paul has received a wonderful home made colouring book from Levana for his birthday. Seeing the picture of it made me smile so I just have to share it with you. I hope he spends many a happy hour, ‘calrin’ it in!
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